Presidential candidates Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. (Photo: The Republic)
In just 24 hours, we will put to bed our latest exercise in democracy. Our 597-day march toward a more perfect union.
Or at least toward total exhaustion.
Exhale, America, it’s time to say goodbye to Campaign 2016, that august and elevated race to determine who will be the next leader of the free world.
Goodbye to little hands and big egos. To plagiarized speeches and blood pouring from Megyn Kelly’s wherever.
To Donald Trump’s promise to make America great again and Hillary Clinton’s call to make history. And to Gary Johnson’s plea for someone, anyone, to explain Aleppo, which, apparently, is not a pine tree, after all.
Goodbye to private email servers in the basement and crazy Twitter rants in the dead of night.
To shattering glass ceilings and building a great, great wall that Mexico will pay for. Believe me.
To Bill Clinton and Loretta Lynch and chatting about the grandkids on the tarmac at Sky Harbor.
To rigged elections and Russian hackers. To bad hombres and Billy Bush. And to Miss Universe Alicia Machado AKA (to one guy, at least) Miss Piggy.
Goodbye to James Comey and to Anthony Weiner (insert shudder here).
And to nicknames we hadn’t heard since the third grade -- like Lyin’ Ted, and Low Energy Jeb, like Little Marco and, of course, Crooked Hillary.
To a jar of pickles and a basket of deplorables and Wikileaks, Wikileaks, Wikileaks.
And a fond farewell to “locker room talk” by entitled men who should know better (but remarkably, don't).
Goodbye to liking people who weren’t captured and feuding with Gold Star families. Goodbye to rousing renditions of “Lock. Her. Up.”
To stamina questioned and taxes never paid.
To the “total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States”.
Goodbye to all the high-minded moments in this watershed presidential campaign, an extraordinary time that one day we will look back upon and say, What the heck was that?
My fellow Americans, it’s time to vote. God Bless America -- and God, help us, too.
Our long national nightmare is just about over. Or is it just beginning?